At various times of the year, school can become dreary. When we pass a milestone -- the excitement of the new books and school materials, the winter months, holidays -- boredom and weariness can sneak up on us. The kids may grow tired of school, and we begin to wonder (some days with panic) if we will complete all that we hoped to before the late spring or early summer days are upon us.

Why do the doldrums set in? Why do we question our decision to homeschool or think that we just can't do the job well enough? Ironically, I believe that it is homeschool's greatest asset that is our greatest obstacle -- our freedom.

Freedom is rather frightening. We naturally want rules, regulations, and boundaries so that we feel safe, so that we know (or think we do) exactly what to do, when to do it, and how we compare to others doing the same thing. We rely on external measurements because we want to do things "right," and organized school (institutional school, whether public or private) seems to have the method perfected.

But why would we, who have chosen the purest form of education, want to emulate a method full of busywork, confined schedules, junk educational materials, and worse, a godless philosophy? We have the freedom to choose, but we often choose less than the best. We choose the "safest."

We gravitate toward imitation because it feels secure -- a system that someone else has figured out for us and that we think we can count on. We who have dared to step out into unknown territory to be different are often afraid to be too different.

Does that mean that there isn't any value in things we think of as school? No. It isn't wrong to choose some of those things when they suit our children's needs. There is nothing inherently wrong with grade levels, tests, lesson plans, and the like. But for what reasons do we choose them? Because they aid us in reaching our goals or because they keep us from having to decide for ourselves what is best for our children?

Homeschooling is hard and frightening and full of unknowns. We are criticized by some and rewarded by none (for the short term). It is different from anything we have associated with school, and especially with education, in our experience. We often feel insecure about our ability to educate our children, and we wonder if we are crazy for attempting such a monumental task. It is a huge leap of faith to keep on keeping on as we run the race.

Yet that leap of faith is exactly what we need. We have the freedom to run, to choose the best regardless of what others are doing, to live an amazing life of faith in the Lord who gives us strength to run and who picks us up when we fall. In fact, we can only accomplish it while trusting in Him to provide the wisdom, faith, strength, and courage that we need.

As I have grown as a Christian, I realize that the only "safe" way to run the race, to live, and to homeschool is by faith in the Lord and by letting go of my "safe" assumptions. I am reminded of the portion of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia) when Lucy asks about Aslan.

"Is -- is he a man?" asked Lucy.
"Aslan a man! said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great
Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion-the Lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh!" said Susan. . . . "Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe:" said Mr. Beaver. . . . "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King I tell you." (C. S. Lewis, 1950, Collier Books, 1970)

We can run the race in faith and in freedom. But we must keep our eyes on the Lord rather than on man to do so. We mustn't buy into the lie that we must follow the norm, the "safe" way, to succeed.

You are homeschooling because the Lord has planted the desire in your heart. You have the freedom to choose. You must find out what is best for you to choose, how to choose, and how to be free to do what you have discovered. It is the only race worth running.
 

Marilyn and her husband Chesley home educated the younger three of their four sons for fifteen years until their last son completed high school studies in 1996. The younger two completed all of their elementary and high school education at home before going on to college. The Rocketts are also the grandparents of home taught grandchildren -- five grandsons and a granddaughter. She is the Managing Editor for Homeschooling Today magazine, an author of several tools for organization, articles for various magazines, and a contributing author for a chapter in the Homeschool Manual. She is a national speaker for homeschool events, women's groups/retreats, and Christian organizations for the past seventeen and has been involved in both local and state homeschool leadership. Marilyn offers encouragement to homeschoolers and Christian women in the vital areas of managing their households, educating their children, and in life applications to relationships with others and the Lord. Visit her website at www.marilynrockett.com.