By Sarah Buchwalder
Are you experiencing stress or anxiety in your homeschool?
You've probably heard the expression, “Get your own life jacket on first” or “You can’t pour from an empty cup” before, or have been told on an airplane to secure your own oxygen mask before helping another passenger. Is this selfish advice? Of course not! If you don't have your own flotation device on, two people could drown instead of one. If you do, you're in a much better position to save someone.
These are great metaphors for a lot of life. If you're trying to raise joyful, healthy, virtuous kids, you need to have enough oxygen yourself. Homeschooling parents (or grandparents, or guardians) can get spread very thinly, very quickly. Get your life jacket on first. Eat a healthy breakfast. Make sure you get real downtime each day and try to leave one day a week without work, chores, or pressing obligations. Safeguard sleep: for everyone, including you. Cultivate spiritual practices. Delegate some tasks. Keep up with a skill or hobby you love. Make and keep connections with other, caring people who can step in the gap if necessary or at least lend a sympathetic ear. Shift to a growth rather than productivity mindset. (Homeschooling is NOT doing public school at home!)
There are certainly seasons in which it may feel that the best you can do is hang on: when a newborn joins the family, after a move, when starting a new job, or when an elderly family member is at the end of life, for example. But in general, don't let yourself get so exhausted (whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually) that you're no longer effectively able to help those around you in their struggles.
What does burnout look like? You may feel resentment towards other members of your household, such as a beloved spouse, or even toward your own children. You may experience “brain fog” or unusual forgetfulness. You might experience minor illnesses more frequently due to being “rundown.” It may feel like physical exhaustion or a constant feeling of guilt. In severe burnout, you may be experiencing panic attacks, emotional numbness, or mood swings - including rage - that are not attributable to another cause. Physical symptoms may be more extreme.
Getting your own life jacket on is essential to avoid burnout in adults - and in the worst-case scenario, to avoid what may become neglect of children.